arcana imperii :: the book of j


«hotel sakartvelo»

---------- Original message ----------
Date: 15 June 2006 @ 14:45
Subject: Hotel Sakartvelo

Here is a brilliant song written by Kaan Vural, a good friend of mine. This song combines every stereotype about Georgia (Sakartvelo in Georgian) and really gives one a good idea of what we must put up with in this country.

If you haven't already guessed, the song follows the same melody as Hotel California by the Eagles (who are herein appropriately attributed [i.e. I mentioned them]).

Anyhow, here is the song...

Hotel Sakartvelo

On a dark mountain highway,
Potholes everywhere.
Warm smell of cattle,
Rising up through the air.
Out ahead in the distance,
I saw a shimmering light,
I knew it was a mirage,
There ain't no power at night.

There he slouched in the doorway,
Cigarette in his hand, he said,
"Welcome to Sakartvelo, our beautiful land!"
Then he lit up a candle, and gave it to me straight,
"To go through is twenty lari, to go quick twenty-eight"

Welcome to the hotel Sakartvelo!
Such a lovely place, such a lovely place!
Seen from far away!
They're living it up at the hotel Sakartvelo!
What a nice surprise, what a nice surprise,
Bring your own supplies!

The electricity's twisted
It's never ever online, and he said
"We don't have no power here
Cause it's the spirit of the times."
How they drink in the courtyard, the wine tastes of regret.
Some drink to remember, I just want to forget!
So I called up the captain, "please bring me my wine" he said
"We have had that spirit here since BC four thousand and nine"
And still those hookers are calling from far away,
Wake you up in the middle of the night,
Just to hear them say:

"Welcome to the hotel Sakartvelo
Such a lovely place, such a lovely place
Seen from far away
They're living it up at the hotel Sakartvelo
What a nice surprise, what a nice surprise,
Bring your own supplies!

Cobwebs on the ceiling, can't get to my floor
He said, "That's probably because the lift ain't working no more,
We have water problems, and there will be no light"
I said "you can bet your bottom dollar, my friend,
I won't be spending the night!"

Last thing I remember, I was running for the door
I had to find the passage back to the place that I was before
"Relax" said a policeman, "it'll all be all right."

Couldn't get out of the country, the
Planes all leave at midnight!


«That's what happens when earth fucks with space-never forget that.»
~Jimi Hendrix,
after refusing to play at Madison Square Garden.