arcana imperii :: the book of j


how the angel came to be on top of the christmas tree

well, in a now rare moment of jocosity round here, as friends discussed decorating for the season and the new "upside-down" tree mini-craze (about US$600 to 700 at hammacher schlemmer's for instance), i recalled there's a story of how that little angel came to be atop the christmas tree and told it as best i could, having forgotten the details... in any case, i found a fun and more complete version at satiche and thought i'd share it here [ed. j].

so there had been no snow during the entire month of december. the elves in the bicycle department had been on strike since october, and now there was the possibility that the elves in the doll department might join them.

daily life so far north in finland hadn't been too pleasant lately, and father christmas (joulupukki, actually. you know, santa) was in a rather foul mood. mrs claus was suffering from arthritis and was quite upset given that her red-velvet cake had fallen in the oven. santa had tried to round up some extra helpers, but with no snow, they were delayed, unable to travel by sleigh to the workshop.

rudolph had caught a bad cold, and his nose wouldn't light up. comet and prancer were fighting over vixen, who had just come into heat. blitzen's right foreleg was still in a cast, and the vet said that they would have to wait until 24 december to decide if blitzen would be able to pull the sleigh.

the electricity went off, and all the power tools came to a stop. there was nothing going right in santa's workshops. the helpers were about three weeks behind in their work, and it didn't look that all the toys would be ready by christmas eve. santa's foul mood was exacerbated by a bad case of hæmorrhoids, and he wasn't too happy about the prospect of so far on christmas eve.

seeing the terrible state of affairs at the north pole chez santa, the angels took up an offering to buy a gift for the unhappy workers and the clauses - something that would brighten their christmas. they chose a christmas tree, and they sent it down by angel.

the angel burst into the workshop room and asked, «hiya! er, where do you want me to put this tree?»