arcana imperii :: the book of j


insider secrets

the entry below considers the serious problems confronting the computer/internet security industry and consumers as there's hardly a product in the market free of vulnerability. and i truly find it odd since software actually comes to us by way of a rather elaborate path and after meeting some of the most rigid quality control on the planet. so here, and via coda coza αι shares for the first time with the general public this side of the pond, the insider details of the software development cycle:
  1. programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
  2. programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
  3. product is tested. 20 bugs are found.
  4. programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren't really bugs.
  5. testing department finds that five of the fixes didn't work and discovers 15 new bugs.
  6. see 3.
  7. see 4.
  8. see 5.
  9. see 6.
  10. see 7.
  11. see 8.
  12. due to marketing pressure and an extremely pre-mature product announcement based on over-optimistic programming schedule, the product is released.
  13. users find 137 new bugs.
  14. original programmer, having cashed his royalty check, is nowhere to be found.
  15. newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of the 137 bugs, but introduce 456 new ones.
  16. original programmer sends underpaid testing department a postcard from fiji. entire testing department quits.
  17. company is bought in a hostile takeover by competitor using profits from their latest release, which had 783 bugs.
  18. new ceo is brought in by board of directors. he hires programmer to redo program from scratch
  19. programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.