arcana imperii :: the book of j



i recentely wrote in the phlog (do have a look now!) about how bigots have found yet another way to disseminate ignorance, hatred and intolerance via the pages of the urban dictionary yet also how some submissions are truly brilliant regardless of the fact that they need to be "voted" off...

here are a few additional revealing, amusing and horryfying entries:

preppy: someone who religiously abides by the snob code. the males wear clothing designed by closet gays while females dress in outdoorsy type togs to denote dominance over their male counterparts. preppys usually goof off on campus and get away with it because they know their parents will whine to the dean. sometimes when drinking expensive liquor they throw up inside their beemers and shout out: «oh darn, my mom is gonna kill me again!». [i love how one could be killed again. well, if one can be "born again" like dubya...] these freaks eventually buy a condo and take prozac.

gringo: someone who thinks the world revolves around him, thinks that his country is the centre of the universe and is arrogant, ignorant, and oblivious to the world outside his country. aka, an american. as in, cara... olha que gringo escroto!

tony blair: a person so engrossed in oral work between the ass cheeks of george w bush that he fails to hear the wails of his own people. as in, he was doing a tony blair on his girlfriend and failed to hear her husband unexpectedly coming in.

tim greenaway: fat, greasy cunt who enjoys tossing his one-inch cock off over porn on his phone. has no friends, and is constantly laughed at by everyone in his year. talks like a complete spacktard and will die a lonely virgin as he has never even touched a girl. cause of death is likely to be pastry poisoning. as in, thank fuck i'm not that fat, retarded sack of shit tim greenaway!

duff (noun): Characterised by arrogance and egotistcal bevahviour used to shroud feelings of insignificance and lack of self confidence. will argue any declarative statment made in his company regardless of subject or importance. uses circular logic to convey ideas and if that fails will rely solely on ad hominem arguments to make himself sound smarter. also known for showing up at your house uninvited as well as falling desperatly in love with your girlfriend or anything else completely unobtainable.

"to duff it" (verb):
  • to fabricate the specifics of an event in the company of people who were present at said event.

  • to argue relentlessly without actually saying anything.

  • to pass out in the bath tub with your own urine and vomit on you.

  • --dude, saturday night i totally drank a handle of whisky and nailed this hot chick.
    --no you didn't you drank half a beer and passed out in the bath tub. i was there remember?
    --i'm sorry i just "duffed it".

    «descartes has flawed logic... he just does, OK?»

    george w bush: a stain on the underwear of life. as in, son, don't be a george w bush when you grow up, okay?

    indian: see scum, vermin, pest and bestial. as in, indians are like fucking dirty rats; if you get one or two of the buggers residing in your town, within weeks you'll have an infestation and you'll to rally round the locals and set up an indian extermination group.

    poutine: pronounced: 'poo-tang'. it's just jizz on fries. as in, you're eating a poutine? now, why would you put hot french semen on your fries?

    cracker, please!: phrase used to tell a white person (a whitey, a cracker) to fuck off and/or get real, usually when he tries to act "ghetto". when a cracker walks in dressed in FUBU, you say, "man, cracker please!"

    colin farrell: ugly irish drunk who gets too many roles in movies. also thinks he's canadian as he pronounces fuck as fook. as in, i'm colin farrell and this is my new movie aboot the fooking spies of toonisia.