«y'allbonics»
not to be outdone by the push for ebonics in california, the southern association of colleges & schools is requesting millions of federal dollars to teach «y'allbonics» in all classrooms south of the mason-dixon line.here are some examples which any southerner would certainly be happy to explain further:
| heidi: | greeting. |
| hire yew: | remainder of greeting. usage: "heidi, hire yew?" |
| bard: | past tense of the infinitive "to borrow." usage: "my brother bard my pickup truck." |
| jaw'juh: | the state north of florida. its capital is lanner. usage: "my brother from lanner, jaw'juh bard my pickup truck." |
| bammer: | the state west of jaw'juh. its capital is berminhayum. usage: "a tornader jes went through bammer an' left $20M in improvements." |
| munts: | a calendar division. usage: "my brother from jaw'juh bard my pickup truck, ann'ah ain't herd from him in munts." |
| thank: | cognitive process. usage: "ah thank ah'll have a coke." |
| ranch: | a tool used for tight'nin' bolts. usage: "ah thank ah leff my ranch in'eh back of that pickup truck my brother from jaw'juh bard a few munts ago." |
| all: | a petroleum-based lubricant. usage: "ah sure hope my brother from jaw'juh puts all in my pickup truck." |
| far: | a blaze. usage: "if my brother from jaw'juh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far." |
| tar: | a rubber wheel. usage: "ah hope that brother of mine from jaw'juh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck." |
| tire: | a tall monument. usage: "lord willin' and the creek don't rise, ah sure hope to see that eiffel tire in pars sometime." |
| retard: | to stop working. usage: "mah grampaw retard at age 65." |
| farn: | not domestic. usage: "ah cuddin't unnerstand a wurd he sed. must be from some farn country." |
| did: | not alive. usage: "he's did, jim." |
| are: | a colourless, odourless gas; oxygen. usage: "he cain't breathe give 'im some are!" |
| bob war: | a sharp, twisted, metallic cable. usage: "boy, stay away from that bob war! |
via andymatic via mezzanine.nu.
